Want to Go to India?

Several years ago, I got asked this exact question by some good friends that I go to church with in suburban Atlanta, Georgia. The guys belonged to a group of businessmen that went to different parts of the world to assist others in developing and funding micro businesses. They wanted yours truly to become a part of the team and join them on this mission trip and adventure. I had never been to India and the guys were hard selling me and I couldn’t resist so I jumped on board.

The team’s mission during this trip was to work with Jholdas (an international business as missions organization) and serve as coaches, by developing comprehensive business plans, for Bhutanese brothers and sisters who hoped to start micro-businesses in their hometown villages.  The business plans were to be presented to a local funding agency and startup loans would be provided for the most qualified.  The loans are paid back to the local program which enabled them to become self-sufficient and fund future projects.  These potential businesses enabled their owners to expand through outreach and local church growth while supporting their families. 

Bhutan is located in southern Asia and borders China and India.  The country is about half the size of Indiana with a population of about 800,000.  Bhutan translates to “The Land of the Thunder Dragon” due to violent storms from the Himalaya Mountains. At the time, we could not get visas to meet the students there, so they met us on the border in a town called Jaigon in northeast India.

The poverty that I saw along the way and especially in Jaigon was very difficult to believe and describe. How can so many people be in this bad of shape? A typical monthly wage for a person in this part of the world is about $70 U.S.  Most of the people I saw were not making anywhere near that.  It is hard to grasp how hard it is to make a living which helped me respect what it was our students were trying to accomplish.  Most of the students were key members of their respective villages.  They led many home churches and were well respected in their communities.  Being able to help them was a privilege.

I had no idea what was in store for me, but I was excited about the opportunity. Buckle up! The story I am about to tell you is pretty amazing for a tire builders kid from Ohio.

But first…A joke to loosen things up a little:

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, drove up on the sidewalk, and screeched to a halt just inches from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, “Look, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized. “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

“Sorry,” the driver replied. “It’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi driver. I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.”

A Verse to Contemplate:

The prudent understand where they are going, but fools deceive themselves - Proverbs 14:8 (NLT).

Have I Told You This One?

Ever want to pack up your laptop and hop on a plane, fly halfway around the world (and back) and work for a week for free?  Me either, but that’s exactly what I did.  This was not a small undertaking but I thought it was amazing that I could jump on a plane in Atlanta and be pretty much anywhere in the world in 24 hours or less. I also like telling stories so I assumed I would have a few things to share on this one. Boy, did I underestimate that! The longest trip I had been on previous to this was a trip to Hawaii which took about 10 hours non-stop.

This trip took over 40 hours and covered nearly 8,000 miles (in coach) including stops in New York, Dehli, Guwahati, and finally Bagdogra, India.  The leg from New York to Dehli was about 16 hours. Two work days sitting on a plane just to get into country. I have a very difficult time sleeping on planes so I decided to take some Ambien to help me sleep at least 8 of those 16 hours. Well, it worked intially but when I woke up midflight I thought it would be about halfway and I discovered it had only been a few hours. I needed to use the facilities, so I got up and I swear I looked (and felt) like a bear that got drug darted. Remember Mutual Of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom? That was me! Only to top it off when I finally made it to the door, an older woman had failed to lock the door and I walked in on her in the midst of her doing her business. Now we both sounded like drugged bears! I saw the sun rise twice on the trip but only saw one “moon” (I’m sorry, I’ll show myself out).

As eventful as that trip was, the last leg of the journey, a four-hour drive to Jaigon, India, turned out to be the biggest adventure.  At the Bagdogra Airport, we met up with two missionaries from Nepal that came to assist our team.  We packed our gear in a hired car and headed out.  Our driver apparently had spent some time in NASCAR since he drove like a maniac. We told him we would pay more for him to slow down but he must have had dinner plans. Traffic was unbelievable and the people drive insane.  The road looked like the Indian Air Force used it to practice bombing runs. The rules of the road are simple…the biggest car wins. We were in a small Chevy SUV with about ten people stuffed inside and our gear was strapped to the top. We looked like we were on a safari. Horns are blowing nonstop and our driver would pull out into oncoming traffic on the two lane highway and dive back in at the last minute. At the beginning I was terrified but a few hours in I just sat back and accepted the fact that I was going to die or be horribly maimed. I could hardly keep my eyes open but the commute from hell kept me awake. I saw elephants being used to clear trees, straw huts, jungle and a whole bunch of other stuff I hadn’t seen before. Not many elephants in Atlanta.

After about three hours of the trip (death ride would be more accurate) we pulled up to a bridge and were told by armed military guards that one side was inoperable, and we had to wait our turn once the cars and trucks coming toward us had passed. That seemed simple enough but our driver (Dale Ernhardt’s cousin) decided to go just as an 18-wheeler was coming across the bridge at full speed. I’m assuming he thought he could make it before the truck got to us (He was VERY wrong!).

We were up against a fence that was there to keep cars from doing exactly what our driver was attempting to do when we got nailed by the truck which instantly blew out the back windows of the SUV as well as damaging the crud out of that side of the vehicle. To make it even more interesting, the truck decided NOT to stop and kept going after hitting us.  Unfortunately (for him) he did this in front of the soldiers who were carrying weapons which they drew and ordered the truck to stop.  He did not comply (BAD MOVE).  Our driver and the soldiers turned around and proceeded to take us on a high speed chase on the wrong side of the road! Our driver pulled in front of the truck to make it stop (Yes, the same truck that just ran over us). 

As we were checking various body parts to make sure we were still okay, the soldiers pull up and they are not happy with the truck driver and neither was Dale Ernhardt. The next thing we see is the truck driver heading for the jungle!  We are in West Bengal India (as in BENGAL tiger) at night and the guy runs! The soldiers then proceed to drag the man riding shotgun out of the truck and proceed to beat him with a huge stick in the back of the legs and knees.  We realized we were not in Kansas anymore Toto!!!  Yikes.

Everyone was fine and the car was drivable (although missing a back window now) so we headed on toward Jaigon once again after driving an hour back to the police station (hut) to file a accident report and then to negotiate with the driver who now wanted to charge us triple for the ride. Thank goodness for the missionaries who told him that he wasn’t getting a scheckle until he got us to our destination. We arrived at our “hotel” and were very happy to call it a day.  Believe me, it was not Club Med but it looked great to me.

In the morning, we were informed that one of our students (a young mother) had been struck and killed by a drunk motorcycle rider and had passed away.  We were deeply saddened by the news. It was sobering that forces may be at work to keep us from our mission and it was a reality check that things can get crazy in a hurry.

Over the next three days we developed five business plans along with sharing our faith and worshiping with our new Bhutanese friends.  Each day started with a time of devotion, testimonies and prayer.  A key part of the business plan was the importance of developing the kingdom impact statement.  A kingdom impact statement is like a mission statement that indicates how the proposed business will further God’s kingdom.  Recognizing that these business owners have a better chance of reaching their communities than we ever would, we provided our Bhutanese brothers and sisters with the tools to fish both physically and spiritually.   

We may have cranked out some business plans and helped them to formulate their ideas into a definitive plan, but they impressed each of us with their hearts for service, worship, and love for Jesus in a country where Christians make up about less than 1% of the population.  The country is about 75% Buddhist and 25% Hindu.  It was humbling and motivating to observe the sincere worship of Christians who live in an environment that is much different than mine.  To hear others worship and pray to God in their language was a special experience.  It certainly made me realize that He is multi-lingual!  Although I did not understand the language I did not need the services of the translator to know what was being said.

It was hard to believe how fast the week went.  Before we knew it was time to head back.  I struggled all week with negative feelings about the conditions, poverty, tough travel, lack of sleep, how this will make a difference, etc. I came to realize that it is not about me and my comfort but it is about sacrifice and faith and being awed that God would use someone like me to complete His work.

Before I left, my mom called me and was concerned about the trip (maybe she knew something!). I told her that I was going to be fine no matter what happens. If I was doing what God wanted me to do and if He decided to take me there, what better way to go out doing what He wanted me to do. Thankfully, we made it back home safely. First thing I did on the way home was to pull into Wendys for a double cheeseburger. Our Indian brothers and sisters aren’t big on hamburgers!

A Prayer:

Father, I desire to reap a harvest pleasing to you, but I admit that I can only do so through the power of Your Spirit. Give me the strength to sow eternal fruit.

Book Recommendation:

Through The Eyes of a Lion - Facing Impossible Pain Finding Incredible Power by Levi Lusko (2015)

Music Recommendation:

In Color by Cheap Trick (1977)

Shopping with a Major Leaguer

Hello again! Welcome to the fourth entry of the A Table For One blog. I am grateful that you are taking some of your time to check out my latest ramblings. I hope it makes your day at least a little better.

I did not know it, but I was born into royalty. I KNOW, I’m as surprised as you are! How does a young man go from tire builder kid to royalty you ask? Well, I’ll tell you, my mother was the Queen of Shopping and she was unparalleled in her expertise and dedication to her craft. You know the 10,000-hour rule in becoming an expert of something in Malcom Gladwell’s book Outliers; mere child’s play to the Queen of Shopping from Akron, Ohio.

I wrote some about my dad in my last entry so I thought I would give mom some equal time. I looked up to my mom in many ways and while I wanted to always be a tough guy like my dad, God wired me much more like Mom, which by the way, probably drove dad nuts.  Dad was the leader of our family but mom was the glue that held it all together. I admired mom’s work ethic and drive and I tried hard to emulate her in my personal life as well as my professional life. Through strikes, illness and other challenges in dad’s job, mom saved the day for our family and allowed us to move forward and keep going and I am forever grateful.

Mom started out as an X-ray technician at St. Thomas Hospital and over a 40+ year career moved up the ranks to where she was head of education in radiology when she retired.  There are scores of people over the years that were trained by her.  Mom was unique in the fact that she actually loved her work and the people she worked with and the people she provided care to. As we all know though, your job is not who you are, it is what you do.  Only talking about someone’s job to describe them to others is a disservice to them. 

My story today will focus on the wonderfully crazy lady she was and how impactful she was to me growing up through the eyes of a mere mortal (me) when it came to shopping and the countless times she took to just talk to me and help me see people in a much better way.

But first…A joke to loosen things up a little:

Two wrestlers are sitting on a park bench, and an old lady who’s ranting and raving comes by. “Hey!” she bellows in a hoarse voice. “I got a riddle for you guys”. What has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks something awful?”

The guys look at each other, and one of them shrugs. “I give up, what has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks something awful?”. “You and your friend!” The woman staggers away, chuckling. The guys look at each other and start laughing. “That was a funny riddle that lady told on us, “they say. “Let’s go try it on someone else.”

Laughing hysterically, they see two guys. They approach them and smile. “Hey! We got a riddle for you! What has two heads, four arms. four legs, and stinks something awful”. The guy shrugs waiting for an answer. The wrestlers chuckle again, and one of them says with a smirk, “Me and my friend!”

A Verse to Contemplate:

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much - Luke 16:10.

Have I Told You This One?

Mom LOVED to talk, let’s just say that a pause in the conversation would not be tolerated and she was not a fan of short talks. Pick a topic, she had an opinion! If it lasted long enough, she might take both sides of the argument. Mom loved people and had a soft compassionate heart.  She was an excellent caregiver and took care of many people.  Stories of injustice around the world would break her heart and bring her to tears. She ran her department with excellence and even brought students to our home throughout the years to teach physics to them so they could pass their exams.

Mom was EASY to play jokes on.  Once, when she and dad came down to Georgia to visit me and my family, we took them to a Japanese steak house for dinner.  The restaurant made a big deal about birthdays and would put a big funny hat on the person, bang a drum and sing a loud happy birthday song. When we were going to sit own, I peeled back and told them that it was Mom’s birthday and to set up the surprise. (It was not her birthday).  I also told them that she is very vain and would deny that it was her birthday but to just keep going.  The plan went off as expected, Mom denied it and starting looking around until she got to me and saw the look on my face and then she knew she had been had. I loved making her laugh; especially when she laughed so hard that she would lose her breath and start snorting!

Mom LOVED to shop. Let’s just say that there are shoppers, avid shoppers, crazy shoppers, lunatic shoppers and then there is mom. The Queen of Shopping was in a special class all to herself. She had a special attraction to J.C. Penney and Pier 1 Imports. When mom shopped, she would not leave until she had touched every piece of whatever in the store. I swear if I said ANYTHING, she would take another lap around the store! My dad would beg off going by “voluntelling” me to take his place.

I “gladly” went with mom many times to shop at JCP (actually I was kidnapped and forced to go). My precious mother bought me every turtleneck they ever had in the catalog. She even bought me dickies (if you know you know). I begged her to stop but then she doubled down and bought me plaid cuffed dress slacks when everyone else were wearing Levi’s jeans. I had drawers packed with those clothes and every once in a while, she would ask me why I was not wearing those great clothes she got me, and I told her I think our house was broken into and someone my exact size must have grabbed those babies. I also suggested that it was healthier for me to not wear those clothes since the beatings would end at school. I don’t think she bought it.

I swear when mom entered the local JCP people would stop what they were doing and take a knee. I overheard them whispering to one another “There she is, the Queen”, “I thought it was just a rumor but there she is in the flesh!” Mom would pass the minions with grace and class and give the queen wave as she honored the store with her presence. It was of like Norm walking into Cheers! Actually, it was quite impressive.

Mom was also just as famous at Pier 1 Imports. Over the years she invested a fortune in wicker baskets, urns, flowerpots, statues, etc., etc., etc. She LOVED that place. I spent many hours sitting in the car in shopping center parking lots that had a Pier 1. I would complain to dad, but I was what was keeping him from doing it so guess who wasn’t get out of it?!

After I moved away after college, I called mom once a week. She loved to talk and dad didn’t so I would check in on her and we would do some talking! One of the greatest things I got from mom was to think about how the decisions being made would affect others. To look at it from a different point of view. This isn’t always easy in the business world but it served me well over the years. She cared about people (probably to a fault). If that is the worst thing anyone can say about you…you are a pretty good person in my view. Thanks mom!

I came up to visit Mom in the hospital back in 2015 when things started looking very serious with her failing health.  We had a great visit and as I was leaving, I bent down to her in her bed and put both my hands on her face and looked deep into her eyes and our eyes locked in a special way.  I told her I loved her and left. I thought that was probably going to be the last time I would see her on this side of life. I was right. This was the same hospital I was born in 55 years earlier. A place where my mom worked, a place were most of the family was born and died over the years.

As I was thinking about how special that moment was I believe God gave me a mental vision of what it was like the day I was born and she put both of her hands on my little face and locked eyes with me and how she probably told me she loved me. How the contrast of the two events matter all these years later.

She passed on the next Friday and once she left this earth her spirit was instantly in the presence of God. I believe that she was greeted by Jesus who put his hands on her face and locked eyes with her and said “I Love you and Well Done Good and Faithful Servant.”

She is actually interned in her favorite urn from Pier 1. She is interned next to my dad in a national cemetery in Ohio and I can only imagine dad’s reaction when mom and her urn showed up three years after he passed and realized that he would be next to that for eternity!

Who says you can’t take it with ya?

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, I am overwhelmed by Your loving forgiveness. Empower me with your Spirit to wipe the slate clean and keep no record of others’ wrongs.

Book Recommendation:

Unbroken: An Olympian’s Journey from Airman To Castaway to Captive by Lauren Hillenbrand (2014)

Music Recommendation:

An Ecstasy of Fumbling by Budgie (1988)

Bring Your Kid To Work Day - Akron Style

Hello again! Welcome to the third installment of the A Table For One blog. I appreciate you taking the time to give this a look.

I am the first generation in my family to not follow their father into the tire factory which dates back to my father’s roots in West Virginia. I actually worked in the computer department at General Tire while in college for a year or so but I’m not sure that “counts”. My grandfather left the coal mines in West Virginia in the 1930’s to get a piece of the good life in Akron, Ohio by taking a job at General Tire making automobile tires to support his family. Many of you know, that this was not a unique idea at that time. You may have heard of the three “R’s”; reading writing and Route 21 (the road used to get from West Virginia and Kentucky to Ohio). The industrial revolution was booming, and Akron was a destination for many in Appalachia to improve their lot in life. Sometimes referred to as “hillbillies”, this was a tough group of hard-working people. Let’s face it, if a tire factory is a step up, you are a tough son-of-a-gun! By the way, hillbillies are allowed to use that word, others are not. I got grandfathered (and fathered) in.

My story today will focus on the time my dad took me to work when I was fifteen to give me a piece of reality that served me well. It’s been almost fifty years from that iconic day in my life, but it still is very impactful to me.

But first…A joke to loosen things up a little:

Me (as a kid): I’m really worried. My dad works 12 hours a day to give me a nice home and food on the table. My mom spends the whole day working, cleaning and cooking for me. I’m worried SICK!

Friend: What have you got to worry about? Sounds like to me like you’ve got it made!

Me (as a kid): What if they try to escape?!

A Verse to Contemplate:

“My people have done two evils: They have turned away from me, the spring of living water. And they have dug their own wells, which are broken wells that cannot hold water.” Jeremiah 2:13

Have I told You This One?:

My grandfather was from the Charleston, West Virginia area and my grandmother was from Steubenville, Ohio. If you don’t know, these are not on the top of the list of vacation destinations for tourists. These are tough, hard-working industrial towns that make you get up and get after it everyday.

My Pop was the first born in his family and was born in 1938. He had two brothers and a sister by the time he graduated from high-school at 17. He went into the Army and served in Korea and Japan. Prior to the service, he had not been anywhere to speak of and the ship ride to Korea was a first big step into the “real world”. He met my mom right before he left and they eventually married in 1959 and had me in 1960, my brother in 1962 and my sister in 1972.

When he came home from the service, he was looking for a job to support the new generation of “Rut’s” and he followed his dad into the General Tire and Rubber Company as a laborer making parts and pieces that ultimately went into the production of bias ply tires for cars and trucks. We were like many families at the time that had family that worked in the tire industry in some fashion either at Goodyear, Firestone, Goodrich, General or Seiberling. We were the definition of middle class and I loved it. I knew nothing different and most of my friends were living the same life.

The 60’s and 70’s were a terrific time to grow up in northeast Ohio (in my opinion, anyway). We would get on our bikes in the morning and the only restriction was that we had to be back for supper, which we always ate together. Mom and dad would retire to the living room and read the newspaper and dad would throw me the sports section so I could see the baseball standings and the statistics of my favorite team, the Cleveland Indians (not the “G” word). Like most kids that live in a smaller town, we were always looking for stuff to do and trouble to get in. I seemed to be very good at that for some reason. So, as I entered my teen years, I started to make my dad mumble to himself a lot more and my mom to say “wait till your dad gets home mister” a bunch! You might say I was 15 going on 15.

My dad worked the 6:00 am to 2:00 pm shift at this time. We lived in a 1,000 square foot midwestern home that was hard not to hear anyone when they got up and moved around. My room was right across from mom and dad’s. When mom woke me up, she would step lightly and in an angel’s voice would whisper that it was time to wake up. Dad had a strikingly different approach…You could hear him coming and by the time he banged through my door I better be up and at attention. Let’s just agree that dad was not a gentle soul, and he didn’t particularly care about my opinions on how the day should start!

This one particular summer Saturday morning at 5:30 am, dad came banging into my room and said “Get up boy, you’re going to work with me today”. I assumed it wasn’t a request but more of an order so I ran my head under the tub faucet, brushed my teeth, and threw my clothes on and headed for the car. It was still dark out. I had no idea what he was up to but one thing for sure, I was going on my first bring you kid to work day, Akron style!!

I don’t know if you have ever had the pleasure of being inside of a 100-year-old tire factory in the middle of summer, but it leaves an impression. My eyes must have looked like I had just seen Satan, Good Lord, is this where Dad went EVERY day to work? It was well over 100 degrees, and everyone was dressed in rags. There was 100 years of lamp black ground into the floor and walls, and I could not hear a thing over the clanging of the machines, forklifts, shouts, horns, bells and sometimes a little laughter. I always thought my dad was a tough old boy but DAMN, this place is unbelievable.

So, he takes me to where his work place was located and he sat me down near the vending machines which are protected by guardrails on both sides. He introduced me to the guys that were there waiting for the shift to start, smoking a cigarette, drinking coffee and playing games on one another. What a crew. White, black, hillbilly, all in one place. This did not look like my school where everyone looked the same.

They had fifteen-minute breaks every hour during the shift. Dad would take me around to meet his co-workers and each of the them shook my hand like a man shakes hands and looked me directly in the eyes and to a man, they told me this….”Don’t follow us in here, go to school buddy and do what you want to do.” Those hillbillies knew what they were talking about and I was listening. Their hands were all bent up from working those machines and you could tell the place was taking a toll on them. Great guys but you could see that they were earning their money for sure.

After the shift, dad and I went to a restaurant/bar across from the factory called The Cork and Bottle on East Market Street. When I went in there I couldn’t tell if it was day or night, the smoke was thick enough to cut it with a cleaver and it was LOUD LOUD. My Dad asked me, “What do you notice son?”. I said, “a lot of guys drinking and smoking and talking loud.” I asked, “are these guys running those machines after drinking?” “What do you think?”, he answered. I said, “oh.”

When we got back home, my mom met us at the back door and asked, “What did you think, Mark?”. I said that I was going to give a lot of thought to this college gig and that I had gained a deep understanding of what going to work really means. Jump ahead about ten years, I was the first person to graduate college in my family with degrees in Industrial Management and Computer Science. Thanks Pop.

Monday was the 11th anniversary of dad being called home to eternity. “Wayne P” was one helluva man and I love him and miss him.

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, help me to trust You even when I don’t understand. Give me ears to hear You and courage to follow wherever You lead.

Book Recommendation:

Hillbilly Elegy - J.D. Vance (2016)

Music Recommendation:

Elegant Gypsy - Al DiMeola (1977)

“Does Anyone Remember Laughter?”

Hey there! Good news (for me), I didn’t get any spoiled fruit thrown at me after my first blog post so I’m going to keep going. Thanks to everyone for the feedback and encouragement. “You like me…You really like me” (Google it for the younger folks).

If you are of a “certain age” you probably have heard the live soundtrack to The Song Remains The Same by Led Zeppelin around 1973. Robert Plant improvises during Stairway to Heaven with the now famous question in the song. It is akin to movie fans dropping their favorite lines from movies to gauge your true knowledge of a particular flick.

I’m going to use this as a question for today’s blog.

But first….A Joke to loosen things up a little:

One day a blonde went to an auction to buy a parrot. He really wanted it, but he kept getting outbid. So, he bid higher…and higher…and higher. Even though he had to bid way more than he intended, he finally won the bird. As he was paying for it, he mentioned to the auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I’d hate to have paid this much to find out that he can’t!” “Don’t worry,” replied the auctioneer. “Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

A Verse To Contemplate:

“Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” Psalms 90:12

Story of the Day:

Let me ask you a question…Have you ever been at a point in your life where you were just crusin’ along and then in the blink of an eye you find yourself taking a completely different path and after a bit you just sit there and wonder what just happened?

I’m two years into that as of this writing. My wife Michelle got Covid on her 60th birthday and 12 days later she was gone. I’m still trying to figure out what happened and definitely think “does anyone remember laughter?”

In my family, we have been accustomed to dealing with some serious health challenges over the years. Michelle had a kidney transplant, her Dad had three transplants, my daughter had a kidney transplant, my grandson had two brain surgeries in his first two months of life. So when Michelle went into the hospital, we were concerned but did not think she would not beat it and come back home. We were wrong.

For her birthday that year I scheduled a winery trip in the mountains for her and my three girls. The night before she was to leave was our 39th anniversary. On our way to dinner to celebrate we found out that our grandson got Covid which made us very concerned and put a quick end to our date. Michelle was a higher threat to Covid because of her transplant and the anti-rejection drugs she took. Her immune system was compromised and if she got Covid it would be very difficult for her to fight the infections. We were mostly worried about our grandson given all the challenges he had been through. Michelle said she wasn’t feeling great and went to bed early so she would be rested for the winery tour the next day.

The girls came and picked her up and they headed to the mountains for a few days and I anticipated her back by her birthday so we could celebrate and make up for the anniversary. Later in the day the girls called me and said Michelle was really sick but she didn’t want to reschedule the trip and was going to stick it out. They called a few more times and I could tell the concern in their voices. When she finally made it home, she looked very ill and went straight to bed.

Covid was raging at this time and it was going to take hours to get tested and, if necessary, seen by a physician. I said let’s go to the hospital and Michelle said to wait until the next day and if she was not better that she would go. We went to a walk-in clinic the next day which took four hours to be seen. When she was examined, they told us that she had Covid and needed to get to the hospital for care. They were taking her to X-ray to check out her lungs but she fainted on the way down the hall. An ambulance was called and she was taken to Kennesaw Hospital. We waited another eight hours to be seen by a doctor.

They confirmed the prior diagnosis and admitted her to the hospital. One problem…no rooms. She stayed in emergency for another 30 hours before a bed opened up. At this point I was not permitted to see her because the hospital was in a code red shut down due to the pandemic. I called her the next day but her phone went directly to voice mail. She texted back that she wanted a phone charger and a heating pad and back pillow. I drove to the hospital immediately and was told that she could only have the charger and the other items were not on “the list”. I got into a heated argument with a woman at the front desk due to her lack of empathy and I was escorted out by an officer. It was not my best day. Does anyone remember laughter?

Three days in she was moved to an ICU step down room. Two more days she was moved to ICU. The next day I had to make a decision to put her on a ventilator. She then had three surgeries to place tubes into her lungs to be able to breathe. I was then informed that she had MRSA and was “very sick”. Then palliative care started calling me every few hours. My daughter Mallory also was in the hospital with Covid and was going down an almost identical path as Michelle. We received no calls from physicians for the first six days and then only one per day. We hacked into her MyChart and could follow what treatments she was getting and what her vitals were. Does anyone remember laughter?

On day eleven, I was called and told that they had run out of things to do and that we should prepare to think about making her comfortable and that she had next to no chance of beating this. Her lungs were gone and she was being kept alive by the ventillator. I scheduled a meeting with the physician for the next day to discuss options. I had to then do the hardest thing I ever have had to do in my life, tell my girls their Mom was not going to make it. Does anyone remember laughter?

The next day I was allowed to get into the hospital and went to ICU to visit with the physician and to finally get to see my beloved. I was gowned up and looked like I was going into a nuclear reactor that needed repaired. I prepared myself as I approached her room and when I saw her, it buckled me. She was hooked up to so many machines and was still on the ventillator. I went in and held her hand and stroked her hair and talked with her. I do not know if she could hear me since she was so heavily sedated but in case she could, I started talking to her until it was time to meet with the physician. Does anyone remember laughter?

When I met with the physician in a conference room he told me her current situation and all they had done to save her but she was in organ failure and there was no scientific chance that she would survive. I made another decision I never thought I would have to make; to take her off the ventilator and switch her care to comfort care. I never felt more alone in my life.

I waited outside her room as they drew the curtain and took her off the ventilator. They also started unhooking her from all the other machines. The nurse was so kind and caring but I knew what was happening. I stayed with her for the last 90 minutes of her life holding her hand, stroking her hair, singing to her and reading some letters I wrote to her. Then she was gone and present with her Lord.

I stayed in the room for another 15 minutes until I felt her cold hand and realized that it was done. I went out of the room and began to let everyone know. Mallory was still fighting for her life and found out her Mom passed via text. Does anyone remember laughter?

As I write this today, I still struggle with the reality of it all. Two years have gone by at an unbelievable slow pace. The holidays, birthdays, etc. are not the same and I feel like my life ended two years ago and I’m trying to get started but I’m stuck and quite lonely. I went from a great marriage with my best friend to alone in the house we worked so hard to make a home. She was an unbelievable person that has left a legacy to be very proud of. I miss her and can’t wait to see her again in eternity. She beat me there and I envy her for that. I’m also very happy that she doesn’t have to go through what we have had to go through.

Mallory pulled through and beat Covid and is doing really well. Thank God for that. It was an answer to many prayers and I am beyond thankful. My grandson is thriving and doing well. So, I do remember laughter. It is not as loud as it used to be but one thing I have learned is to be happy for the nearly 50 years we had together (we met when I was 15 and she was 14) and how great she made my life. Thank you Lord for that. You blessed me far beyond what I have ever deserved.

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, You are my hope! Fill me to overflowing with joy and peace as I learn to completely trust You by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Book Recommendation:

Ghost Rider, Travels On The Healing Road by Neil Peart (2002)

Music Recommendation:

Lightbulb Sun by Porcupine Tree (2000)

Here Goes Nothing!

I have been thinking about a LOT of things over the past few years and one of them was finding a way to write and express myself. Some friends encouraged me to get a little deeper into writing and sharing my stories and tales. To be honest, I struggled mightily with coming to grips that anyone would be interested in anything I have to say or spending time listening to my goofy stories. I have noticed what Facebook and other social media outlets have done to people who dare have an opinion and the “bravado” from all the tough guy keyboard warriors there are amongst us. Apparently, I am a glutton for punishment so “Here Goes Northing!”

I thought what I would do initially is to mimic one of the greatest speeches I have ever heard. It was given by Jim Valvano in 1993 who was in a fight for his life with cancer (a link to it is provided here: https://youtu.be/HuoVM9nm42E?si=5rJUKtVCm9AnhVDT).) I was in tears after he finished his 10 minute “never give up” speech. He says a ton in this but the one thing I always remember is that a full day consists of three things. This kind of day should make you laugh, cry and think. It was a nearly perfect presentation by a great communicator and the only thing I would add is a fourth important thing and that is to pray and acknowledge God in all that we do.

So, to that end I am going to try and cover these four things in my blog/stories/tales. I’m excited to do this and I hope it goes well. I’m definitely not trying to gain “clicks or followers”, “likes”, or whatever the current terms are today. Just trying to have some fun and make people laugh, cry, think and pray as they take a break and spend some of their valuable time reading my goofy takes on life.

Here Goes Nothing!

A Joke to loosen things up a little:

A man was flying home from a business trip when the flight attendant handed out brownies. He decided to save them for later, and he put them in the cleanest thing he could find - an unused vomit bag. After the plane landed, the man got up to leave and a flight attendant approached him and said “Sir, would you like me to dispose of that for you?”. “No thanks,” he said. “I’m saving it for the kids.”

A Verse to Contemplate:

“You are the light that gives light to the world. Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven” Matthew 5: 14,16

Story of The Day:

I graduated from Ellet High School in Akron, Ohio in June of 1978. If you do the math, that means this June was 45 years since they told me to leave and make something of myself in the real world. My class is made up of some really great people and several of them have taken their time, energy and money to “herd the cats” every five years and put on a reunion. I certainly appreciate the effort put forth and we celebrated our 45th anniversary this past September back in Ohio.

I met my wife when I was a sophmore and she was a freshman. We went to a Valentine’s Day dance and we were a couple until her passing in 2021. This was to be the first one I attended without her and it left a big hole in my heart.

I am also blessed to have a large number of classmates that I truly enjoy seeing and catching up with. Forty-five years brings a lot of changes and life can be a tricky winding road with cliffs, rivers, pot holes and mountain tops. We are no longer the “sorta” innocent bunch that spent four years together trying to figure out what to do and how to act in a grown-up world. The scars and wrinkles were visible, but the eyes led to some beautiful hearts and souls.

I had not seen some of the folks since 1978. Where do you start a conversation? “What have you been doing the last 45 years?” That was going to take some serious unpacking. However, some turned out about what you would expect, others were surprising but the cool thing about this reunion for me was that it seemed like most everyone was realistic and comfortable with who they were and no one was trying to overly impress. No one showed up in a limo or helicopter with a trophy spouse or some similar silliness. At this point, we are what we are. I enjoyed that to be honest. In my mind’s eye we are all 17 and 18 years old but walking into a room of 60-year-old folks smacks you in the face that we have had a good deal of water flow under the bridges of our lives.

There were a bunch of stories going around, some laughter, some smirks, some grins, handshakes, hugs, and eye rolls. We also found out that 53 of our classmates had graduated on up to the next level of life. That was no fun and I hate facing that reality. I miss seeing them and hearing their stories.

I have had the misfortune to learn to live without my wife for the past two years and figuring out my next steps after being together for nearly 50 years. This night provided a nice respite as it took me back to a time when things were a lot more fun and a lot less stressful. I am well aware that you can’t live in the past, it’s not practical or healthy, but it was fun to time travel back to the 70’s and remember some of the best years of my life. I’m sure glad they didn’t have cell phones back then!

I remember being in a bank one time when I was in my 30’s and this lady who was in her 60’s came in and was complaining to the teller that she hated getting older. The teller, trying to be nice, said “you’re not old, you are middle-aged.” The lady responded, “Middle-aged?”, Do you think I’m going to live 120 years!?” All in the bank had a good laugh but now that I am in my 60’s……I get it.

At the end of it all, I went to sleep that night like a little kid with a smile on my face and on my heart. It felt REALLY good to be with and remember my friends from long ago. To see their success and their recovery from life’s body shots. I am thankful for the time I grew up, where I grew up, whom I grew up with and the experiences and freedoms we enjoyed back then. Fifty years is up next. Yikes!

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, forgive me when I try to control things and work everything out my way. When my mind spins out of control, remind me that You are in complete control. Help me to trust You with anything that comes my way so I can live in Your perfect peace.

Book Recommendation: The Stranger in The Lifeboat - a novel by Mitch Albom (2021)

Music Recommendation: The Complete Live at the Plugged Nickel 1965 - Miles Davis