A Desire to be Seen

I moved to Atlanta, Georgia from Akron, Ohio in 1984 to take a job with an international valuation company and to start my professional career. This of course was a big change for me in a lot of ways. Not the least of which was trying to make an impression in a city that was huge compared to where I came from. I knew no one except for my bride of two years. She didn’t know anybody either. We were starting a brand-new life in a big shiny busy city. We had never done anything close to this before, so it was quite an adventure for sure. Lucky for us, we had more of a sense of adventure than we had a fear of failure, so it was fun and exciting. One thing that became quickly apparent was that you could feel small and insignificant once thrown into the hustle and bustle.

I had felt this feeling before but on a much smaller scale. When I went from grade school to junior high school back in Tire Town. Suddenly, I went from being the top of the pile as a 6th grader in smaller hallways with patient friends and teachers to being the newbie 7th grader in the crowded hallways, with a locker, a schedule, bullies and a look of fear and anxiety written all over my face. The first day I got my books knocked out of my hands and kicked down the hallway during class change to the laughter of all the unknown older people surrounding me which made me late for the next class. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was preparing me for numerous times of adjusting to new surroundings and trying to just make it through dealing with the crowds and challenges of life.

My first job was with a firm called American Appraisal that had about 1,000 professionals worldwide. To me, that was a big company. I was one in a thousand, but I became close to the 50 or so folks I worked with out of the Atlanta office and felt like “one of the gang” and felt like I belonged. After a job change in the late 1990’s I started working for Ernst & Young, an international accounting “Big Four” company with about 60,000 employees. Now I’m one in 60 thousand and have a cubicle rather than an office. Other than a handful of people, I felt like I didn’t know anyone (because I didn’t). How do I become known and seen? It seemed like an impossible task. The office was in a huge office tower in midtown Atlanta. I was on the 36th floor at my cube in the sky with the others just like me. My department had a lot of turnover so there were always people coming and going. I really felt like a number for the first time in my career.

On the way to work every day, I parked at a parking deck down a couple blocks off Peachtree Street and would walk down to the building. On the corners and along the way I passed a lot of homeless guys that were asking for money. I had never dealt with that before, and it affected me. I felt sympathy and empathy for these poor souls that were down on their luck. I was struck by the number of people that could pass these people and act as if they were invisible. It hurt my heart. How could a person be so cold to totally ignore another human being? Many times, I would come back, and they would still be in the same spot asking for change. How sad. Does living in the big city desensitize you to this level?

The answer is yes.

After a few years of this, I turned from being one of the ones that cared and tried to help these folks to being one of the people that could treat them as non-entities. I had come to rationalize that these folks are there by their own free will and that I was not going to finance their bad choices. It was hard to line up the services I was attending on Sunday with not helping my fellow man during the rest of the week. An interesting conflict of the soul to say the least.

Today’s blog will be about a few times on my journey through the years to be aware and alert to those with A Desire to be Seen in the world around me. Jesus is a friend and protector to the lowly and marginalized in the world. He places people in our lives to show them His love through us. Thanks for taking some time to read on. I appreciate it.

But First…A Joke:

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll spend hundreds of dollars on equipment he’ll only use twice a year.

Bonus Dad Joke:

Q: What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A: A little hoarse

A Verse to Contemplate:

His eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly - Mark 8:25

Have I Told You This One?

Let me ask you a very serious question. Which is worse, to be lonely or invisible? According to my research, 8,500 people die each day in the U.S. How many died alone or invisible?

I was listening to the radio the other day and a song by the Goo Goo Dolls came on called Iris. The chorus goes like this:

And I don’t want the world to see me

‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand

When everything’s made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I think being invisible must be much worse than being lonely. We aren’t meant to be alone in the world, but things happen. I’m pretty sure we aren’t meant to be invisible. I think even the hardest of us want to be known. You can see it every minute of every day on Facebook where people are starving for attention and striving to prove to somebody that they have a great life and everything is all going to plan. Even some random dude writing a blog is trying to be known and looking for some connection with others.

Think about a time you have felt the most alone. As bad as that is/was can you think of a time when you felt invisible? It’s a lot worse, right?

I was getting lunch on vacation in Hilton Head, South Carolina a few summers ago and as I was eating a young man came into the restaurant and was asking the patrons for money to buy some food. He seemed desperate to the point of raising his voice to get our attention because no one was helping. My heart broke when people wouldn’t even look at him as he yelled for help. Defeated, he left the place with his head down. He seemed so sad. No one even acknowledged his existence. He was invisible. I sat there and finished my meal thinking of him the entire time. I just knew I had to do something. I got up and bought him some food and went outside to find him. By that time, he disappeared. I couldn’t find him. I ended up giving the meal to someone else and felt bad that I had not reacted sooner. It still haunts me, and I’ll never forget how bad it must have felt to be invisible to others.

I had the great honor to serve on a Tres Dias weekend in Jamaica in April with a great bunch of buddies from the U.S. and Jamaica. There were about 20 guys going through the weekend for the first time and our support team was about 70 guys. At the end of the weekend before we all go home, the new guys are given an opportunity to share with the team and community what the weekend meant to them and how it affected them. One of the men, a gentleman probably in his late 30’s, said the following: “It was the first time in my entire life that I felt seen.” It instantly occurred to me why Jesus cares so much for the marginalized in the world. How is it possible in a world of 8.5 billion people that anyone would feel unseen? This man’s life was changed by people caring about him, serving him without trying to get anything in return, but mostly from a loving and caring Savior that brought people into his life that made him feel seen. It broke me. To see his smile and see the jump in his step, to see his new friends hugging his neck and shaking his hand, man, it really doesn’t get better than that. There are moments when the Almighty allows us to see Him at work. There are other times when He lets us be involved. Let’s help each other pay attention. “The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous man and his ears toward their cry.” Psalm 34:15. To my shame, there are many times when I could have helped someone (it doesn’t always mean financially) and did nothing. I never want to go back to being able to ignore people without feeling anything. I’d rather be a bleeding heart than be a hardened one. Matthew 25:40 says….” Truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me.”

A Prayer:

Heavenly Father, open my eyes, grow my heart of compassion and empower me with the same grace and love You extend to me so I can extend it to all I encounter. Allow me to see people like You do. I want to be a source of comfort rather than a critic.

Book Recommendation:

Brothers by Alex Van Halen (2024)

Music Recommendation:

Machine Head by Deep Purple (1972)

Quote of the Day:

“Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?” ― Terry Johnson

Cool Place to Visit:

Yangon, Myanmar