Under the Tree at Nutshell

As I sit here a few days from my 65th birthday, I have taken some time to reflect on the past year. I am grateful for the blessing of making another trip around the sun especially in a year that a huge goal of mine is to “smell the roses” more and eliminate the stressors and things that are unfruitful and/or are a nonproductive use of time and resources. My goal was to focus on those people and events that add value and to pause or step away from the ones that are toxic and too much of a struggle. It was also a year that I purposely chose to focus on me, not in a narcissistic way but hopefully in a healthy way that will set me up for a few more laps around the sun that are productive for me, my family, my friends and my ministry.

A problem with being introspective is that I can be hard on myself at times and not hard enough at other times. I can become too focused on certain things and might miss other blessings because I’m over absorbed. There is also the challenge that emotions and personal accomplishment bring into the picture. I don’t want to be average. I want to excel in everything I try but that is a very high goal that most can’t hit, me included. So, as another year is winding down and, Lord willing, I get to keep going, I ask myself “how did you do Machine and what did you learn in year 65?

I did a deep dive into the misty mountain that is inside of my noodle and one of the areas that I was challenged mightily in this year was having to deal with so many very serious issues with me, my family, my friends and my faith. Although there was a ton to be thankful for and so many blessings, it was hard to stand up at times against the waves of bad news and against the times of waiting on the unknown. Waiting and wondering can be an all-consuming struggle. You know the drill right, waiting on blood tests to see if something major is wrong or life changing. Sleepless nights and unfocused days waiting for the phone to ring. Holding your breath as the disembodied voice on the other end brings the news you have been waiting an eternity to hear. The fast-beating heart leads to either a gigantic exhale or trying to accept the bad news without losing it on the phone. Realizing you have been holding your breath the whole time.

All of this is a test of faith, isn’t it? When asked to pray for someone or something, I do. I know God hears those prayers and my hope is that He will answer them. I also know that He is not a vending machine and that I should be praying constantly and not just when I need or want something. When stuff is happening to the kids or grands, the concern and worry crank up a few notches. I may go down the “bad road” in my thoughts which can take on a life of its own. I can start self-diagnosing my symptoms online and scare the crud out of myself regarding what might be happening. Thankfully, most times it turns out “good” and the scare subsides, and I return to whatever normal is. Sound familiar?

During one of my lengthy waiting periods, I was reading and studying in the book of Mark (awesome Fella that Mark!). In Mark 9:22-24 Jesus encounters a man whose son needs healing. The scribes and some of the disciples have not been able to heal him and the man is beside himself worrying about his beloved son. He is desperate for help. Ever been there? I have…A LOT. As Jesus approaches the group the father of the afflicted boy approaches Jesus, describing his son’s condition and the disciples’ inability to heal the boy.

The father, in his desperation, says to Jesus, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” Can you imagine saying “If you can” to Jesus?! But that is exactly what desperation can look and feel like. Jesus responds, “‘If you can? Everything is possible for one who believes.” Immediately, the father exclaims, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”. This candid admission reveals the father’s struggle between faith and doubt, a tension many of us experience in our spiritual journeys.

In this context, the father’s plea is a humble acknowledgment of his limited faith and a request for Jesus’ help to overcome his doubts. His statement reflects a sincere desire to believe fully and a recognition of his need for divine assistance. Jesus honors this humble plea, and He proceeds to heal the boy.

This passage reminds me that faith does not require perfection or the absence of doubt. Instead, it calls for honesty and a willingness to seek Jesus’ help in overcoming our unbelief. The father’s cry resonates with anyone who has faced the challenges of doubt and the desire for a deeper, more resilient faith (i.e. ME).

As is usually the case, When I’m seeking God, He has the exact response I need at the perfect time. But being human and being a person that doubts even though I believe, this past year has been full of those times where I needed help in overcoming my doubt and needed my faith reinforced. Perhaps it is just the phase of life that I am going through. It was one thing to say you believe but it is quite another to live that out in the trials of life.

Today’s blog is about a recent time where God did just that for me Under the Tree at Nutshell during a recent trip to Jamaica to serve some brothers and sisters on JA Rock. Thank you for giving this a read today and I hope this story helps you in some way that reinforces your faith and your knowledge of who He is in a powerful way like He did for me.

But First…A Joke:

A dog walks into a telegraph office and finds a bored clerk sitting behind the desk. The clerk looks at the dog and asks, “Are you here to send a telegram?” The dog paws at the ground and barks loudly.

The clerk laughs and says, “Okay, what message do you want to send?”

The dog barks: “Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof!”

The clerk writes it down and then offers, “You know, for the same price, you can fit one more “woof” in there.”

The dog tilts his head and gives him a puzzled look and says, “But then it wouldn’t make any sense.”

Bonus Dad Joke:

Driving past a cemetery:

Dad: I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.

Son: Why not?

Dad: Because I’m not dead yet!

A Verse to Contemplate:

Your words were found, and I ate them. Your words became a delight to me and the joy of my heart. - Jeremiah 15:16

Have I Told You This One?

I was fortunate enough to be able to serve on a Tres Dias weekend at a conference center called Nutshell in Trelawney a little way outside of Montego Bay, Jamaica. As the U.S. team arrived and started setting up for the three-day weekend conference, I noticed the cornerstone of this Baptist Union retreat center. It indicated that the building was dedicated in 1965. I thought to myself that this building was opened not too long after I entered the world in 1960. Like me, the center was showing its age. I mentally tried to imagine what it looked like back in the mid-1960s and how much of a celebration there must have been as prayers were answered, and resources were provided to make someone’s dream come true as the complex was opened to spread the Gospel to the people of Jamaica.

As I was standing on that very spot in 2025, the building clearly needed some TLC and investment to bring it back up to that standard from back in the 1960s. However, as banged up as it was it occurred to me that God was still doing work and ministry there through the rag tag group of brothers and sisters in 2025. Although it was pretty spartan we were excited to do whatever God wanted done. He still changes lives and gives hope even if we were not enjoying the blessings of air conditioning or comfy beds.

I have served several weekends and the risk of that can be that it becomes routine and since we have done it many times before we can rely on our own strength and ability and not reach out to Him. We can also think that it is for others and not for us. The truth is, He has something for ALL of us at the conference, not just the first timers.

As the weekend started, I went into performance mode and tried to do my parts as best as I could. However, I also felt weighed down by some recent medical news that I received just prior to leaving. In addition to waiting for those results I was also troubled by news of two of my daughters and a friend from high school that were also facing big time health challenges. I honestly felt overwhelmed and thought the weekend would take my mind from it for a while. I was wrong. As time wore on, it was consuming my thoughts, and I was troubled and heading down the “bad” path of what could happen.

I believe, help me with my unbelief!!

During the weekend, there are several men on the team that do nothing but pray for the team and the guys going through for the first time. In addition, the weekend is prayed for by members of the community every hour we are there. Nonstop. We are asked to submit prayer requests and are assured that those requests are prayed over. I submitted requests for me, my girls, and my school friend. Honestly, I thought they would pray for them, but I would not hear about it. That was okay, I just wanted those requests to be brought to the throne on my behalf. However, during a break, one of the guys on the prayer team came over and asked me to join them Under the Tree at Nutshell so the entire prayer team could pray with me and for me. I welcomed it and met them there.

The prayer team was four guys who are strong believers and could do some praying son! As we started, they asked me what I wanted prayer for, and I told them in detail. One of the team members asked me a direct question. He asked, “How will you feel when (not if) God answers your prayers?” I told him I would feel very grateful and relieved. He then asked, “What will you do when (not if) God answers your prayers?” I answered that I will tell everyone what He did for me/us.

They anointed me with oil, they laid hands on me, and started praying with confidence that I noticed was missing from my recent prayers. They took my requests to Him with confidence and belief just like we are instructed to do by God. They were bringing it! Not as a show, not trying to impress or talk God into anything but in a way that acknowledged the Great Physician and His awesomeness.

I must tell you all, I wept. That is not something I do very often. Through their prayers, I felt the world leave my shoulders. I went from hoping God would do something to believing He would fulfil His will in the lives of those I requested prayer for. Once it ended, I was spent.

I believe, help me with my unbelief.

After I returned home after the weekend ended, I was driving around running errands and listening to the radio and “Lying Eyes” by The Eagles came on the radio. I’ve heard that song a thousand times easy but there was one of the lyrics that hit me (proving God can and will use ANYTHING to get through to me) hard as if it was an epiphany.

In the second verse it says the following:

Late at night, a big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only
Given to a man with hands as cold as ice

The line that hit me was “I guess every form of refuge has its price”

While The Eagles meant something totally different with it, the lyrics brought to light the struggle of my doubt and the need for my faith to be reinforced. How’s that Machine? Thanks for asking.

I was praying but not really believing 100% in whatever I was praying would come true. Somehow the confidence was not present. There seemed to be so many unanswered prayers. I knew in my mind that God can and will answer prayers, but He seemed distant because my recent prayers were not being answered in the way and at the time I wanted, or at all it seemed. I realized that, over time, I had built up walls of unbelief to protect myself from being disappointed which places me in refuge, but, there is a price to be paid for that refuge. In this case, a weak prayer life and doubt.

So, as the chorus goes:

You can't hide your lying eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lying eyes

It now means something to me that I’m sure the guys in The Eagles never meant it to mean.

My time Under the Tree at Nutshell changed me. All believers struggle from time to time with doubt and with life banging on us. He is Sovereign, He loves us, He has a plan for our lives, and He is very capable and willing to answering our prayers. He even provides our strength to believe when we can’t.

I believe, thank You for helping me with my unbelief.

A Prayer:

Good Father, I am undeserving of Your love and forgiveness - but that’s what makes it extravagant. Thank You for washing me and embracing me with arms wide open.

Book Recommendation:

Unhindered Abundance (Restoring Our Souls in a Fragmented World) by Ken Baugh (2021)

Music Recommendation:

Love and Scars by Jerry Gaskill (2015)

Quote of the Day:

“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” – Thomas Jefferson

A Cool Place to Visit:

Bainbridge Island, Washington