In The Dark

Well, here we are on the doorstep of February. As I am writing, we Georgia peaches are having our one snow for the winter that usually hits about this time of year and quickly melts, and we return to more typical weather. Right now, it is a balmy 15 degrees out (not normal), so it sort of feels like the bad old days back in the Buckeye state.

I moved to Atlanta in February of 1984. I was excited to be leaving the huge snowstorms and cold in Akron that year. So, what happens on my first day of work on February 27th? You are correct, it snowed. One point to make here is that “snow” in Ohio and “snow” in Georgia are not the same. I got in my car and went to work on that first day and the only people that showed up were the other transplanted Yankees like me.

When I have met people here in Atlanta over the past 40 plus years and we start to exchange our stories on how we all ended up here (because most of the people I’ve met in Atlanta are from elsewhere) one of the first questions asked is, “What brought you to Georgia Mark?” Honestly not trying to be a smart aleck, my first response is “February in Ohio.” Those from the Midwest smile and nod and know exactly what I’m talking about.

Before I left Ohio, I used to get that seasonal depression I think because I loathed February. It seemed cold all the time. It seemed dark all the time. While it was the shortest month of the year it ALWAYS seemed like it lasted forever.

Hey Mark, thanks for the weather report but what does that have to do with anything? I’m glad you asked.

As I was sitting warmly inside of my home and riding out the second weekend in a row with “Winter Storm Warnings” I had some time to think and reflect, and I landed on how navigating the past several years in my life has felt at times like being In The Dark (like February) and made we ponder on what I may have learned as I journeyed along.

I was recently scrolling mindlessly through my phone killing some time earlier this week and I came across a meme; you know the kind with an inspirational quote that is supposed to motivate you to attack the day. Usually, I scroll on past after rolling my eyes, but this one made me stop for a second and read it a second time. It said the following: “Maybe your path is harder because your calling is higher.” Why did that one hit home? Not sure, but it resonated. I have had my share of life’s challenges over an extended period as of late but so has a lot of people. Let’s face it, life is challenging and at times can be both great and a horror show.

Sometimes it is good to look back so that you can look forward (cheesy platitude, I know). Memory triggers confidence in things you have overcome. It gives you hope that everything has value if you look at it the right way. In remembering it drains out arrogance. I believe I am like a lot of people in that I place more confidence in what I can do on my own and at the same time discount what God can do for me and through me. At 65 you would think I had learned this lesson by now, but no.

If you are willing to hang around a little longer with this Tire Builder’s Kid from Akron, I would like to share with you some lessons I have learned through some of my life’s challenges when I spent some time being In The Dark. Maybe it will help you as it did me. Thanks again for giving this your time today.

But First… A Joke:

Late one night, a handsome guy named Mark is driving down I-75, speeding like he was going for a medal. A police officer pulls him over. The cop says, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”. Mark politely replies, “Yes, I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”

The officer gives Mark the skeptical side eye and asks, “You were robbed?” Mark quickly answers, “No sir, I committed the robbery.” The cop is shocked! “So, you are telling me you were speeding, and you committed a robbery?” “Yes,” Mark says calmly. “I have the loot in the back.”

The officer responds, “Sir, place your hands on the dashboard. I need your license and registration.” He reaches in the window. “Don’t do that!” Mark yells loudly. “You’ll find the gun in my glove compartment!” The cop withdraws his hand. “Wait here, “he says.

He immediately calls for backup. Soon, police cars and helicopters flood the area. Mark is quickly cuffed and placed in the police cruiser. However, before he gets in, another officer up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in the glove box. However, we found none of these in your car.”

Mark replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding, too!”

Bonus Dad Joke:

A man once got served a rabbit stew and said, “excuse me, there is a hare in my stew.”

A Verse to Contemplate:

“I will look favorably on this kind of person: one who is humble, submissive in spirit, and trembles at My word” - Isaiah 66:2

Have I Told You This One?

Okay, close your eyes for a minute and relax. Try and clear your mind. You there?

Try and picture yourself in a big dark room. One minute the lights were on and then the next, they were out. You are trying to remember where you think the light switch was and you walk with your hands out in front of you trying to find it. You are getting a little panicked because you didn’t think it would be this long to find it. You keep bumping into things you can’t see being In The Dark. You finally touch the wall and as you move your hands along the wall you feel the light switch and flip it back on and the light returns and the darkness instantly disappears. You relax a bit and your heart rate returns to normal.

Navigating life’s challenges can feel like that sometimes, right? I am in the middle of this “THING”, and it just feels like it is consuming me. Like most others, I operate under the assumption that “I am a good person” so good things should follow, so why are these hard things happening to me? WHY ME? If you’ve lived more than 20 years, you know that none of us are immune to life’s trials but amid one it can feel like the world is coming after you a lot harder than it is coming at others. When a string of challenging events comes at us it can be overwhelming.

As I have navigated my time in the crucible of life’s challenges, I have been beat up pretty good. For me, it was a lot. It seemed to come at me unforgivingly. I didn’t like it. At times, I tried to tough it out and be like Lieutenant Dan from the Forest Gump movie and shake my fist at it all and at those who I thought were doing the damage to my life. At other times I tried to fasten my halo over my head and accept my challenges as life lessons from above and smile and not complain but endure on behalf of my testimony to the love of Christ I have in me.

As the storms have died down and I’ve unstrapped myself from the mast of the boat and took my halo off for safe keeping I took some mental inventory and did a deep dive on what I really believe and how my faith held during all of this. We all know that bad things happen to good people. Suffering is core to the Christian life. John 16:33 tells us, “You will have tribulation.” So, I asked myself, “Hey Machine, “what held you together?”

As I looked back, four things I came away with are:

(1) How God led me (and continues to lead me) during the storm. Even though I didn’t know where all of this was going it didn’t mean that God was not leading me.

(2) How God humbled me. He humbled me through the trials. My greatest grounding was in my failures.

(3) How God provided for me. Whether in gain or want He provided for me through it all. I was horrible at caring for myself and at times didn’t care, but I was cared for in amazing ways.

(4) How God disciplined me. There are always consequences related to decisions, but they are a gift. I gained wisdom through how I responded to consequences that came my way.

As I looked ahead, these four lessons that I learned the hard way come to mind. I now try and put these into practice every day:

(1) Don’t isolate myself. I’m not as good at solving problems and seeing things clearly as I thought I was. Isolation is just inviting destruction. Decision making is compromised if you are isolated. God brings people into your life to help. Let them. I am still responsible for the decision, but the right input can be very helpful.

(2) Be honest with God and others about what’s going on. I need accountability to see things clearly. Change will not happen in a vacuum. I’m not always totally honest with myself.

(3) Live a transformed life. Don’t despair to the point of living a life being In The Dark. Turn to God with my anxiety and fears. He is much more able to carry the load.

(4) Take care of myself. I need to care for myself the way Christ cares for me. Eating, sleeping and exercise are very important.

These are the things that I saw in my life after I found the light switch after a long and trying search. This is not to say that everything is zooming along just fine now but the difference is I feel I have a plan and when storms come calling (and they will) I hope to first look up and also look back to remember God’s faithfulness and remember that He never wastes my pain, he loves me, and he is Sovereign.

Thanks again for spending some time with me today. It is very much appreciated.

A Prayer:

Precious Lord, teach me the fruit of fortitude that will enable me to patiently endure trials and conflicts of all kinds. On good days and the worst days. Help me to extend grace and forgiveness as you have shown toward me. Strengthen me to bear with others in love and to reflect on your mercy and compassion in every situation I encounter. Make me a calming influence in tense encounters. Amen.

Book Recommendation:

Fear Is a Choice - Tackling Life’s Challenges with Dignity, Faith, and Determination by James Conner (2020)

Music Recommendation:

Hernando by North Mississippi Allstars (2008)

Quote of the Day:

“Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.” - Daniel J. Boorstin

Cool Place to Visit:

Ellet, Ohio